Dear
by Death by manga
Summary: An exchange of letters between Naruto and Sasuke. Mostly wholesome with some sex humor thrown in now and then. There will be some journal entries written as well now and then but we aren't sure how often those will come. This is a collab between Dana-Eliza and myself. I'm writing Naruto's perspective and Dana-Eliza is writing Sasuke's.
1. Dear Naruto 1

**AN: Hey everybody. this is a collaboration project I'm doing with a friend of mine Dana-Eliza. After a few set backs with time constraints and whatnot, we finally got it under way. We don't know how active this whole this is going to be, but judging by the posting record of Dana, this thing will move by pretty fast. **

**Dana will be writing from the perspective of Sasuke and I will be writing from Naruto's so if things feel a little different now and then, it is mostly because of that. The letters will sent roughly a few months after Sasuke joined Orochimaru. **

Dear Naruto,

That is usually how these things start out, right? I'm still a little uncertain as to why I am in fact writing this letter, but I feel like I should. To get some things off my chest and maybe explain things a little.

It's been a while since we last spoke. It was during that fight where you said you would bring me back to the village. I guess you failed, huh? But there is nothing to worry about. I'm doing fine. I'm training a lot and I'm getting stronger. I am certainly on my way to defeat my brother and after that my heart maybe is at peace.

So how is everything going in the village? Still aspiring to become Hokage or have you given up on that crazy dream? Though I don't think you will ever turn your back on that. You are too stubborn for that, just like with the way you wanted to bring me back. But who knows, maybe this dream will actually come true. If you fight long and hard for it, it should happen, right? Like my fight with my brother?

I haven't really made any friends here, so sometimes it gets rather lonely. Orochimaru is a little strange with his tongue, lapping out all the time, and Kabuto almost seems like his fan girl. I don't really know how to handle it. I don't understand how you can admire someone like Orochimaru that much, but maybe I just don't see what Kabuto sees. I've also met some other people. Strong ninjas mostly which Orochimaru lets me fight against, so I become stronger. There certainly are some interesting people around here, but all a little messed up. And apparently I still couldn't escape the clingy girls. I don't really know her, but there is a redhead that keeps staring at me. Thankfully we will be moving towards another hideout soon.

I don't really know why I told you all that. Maybe to convince you that I am doing just fine and my life is still going strong. I feel like I am on the right path, that being here is a good thing. I just don't want you to worry, Naruto. I'm doing fine, I promise.

What I really wanted to say was that I apologize for leaving like that all those years ago. I know it confused you, but it's something you couldn't understand. I am on the path of revenge and staying in the village was messing it all up for me. My feelings towards it were changing and I couldn't risk that. My brother needs to pay for killing my complete family. I am an avenger. This path is more important to me than anything else in the world.

Also apologize to Sakura for me. I didn't leave her in the nicest ways, but she understood even less than you. Maybe one day you will actually see why I left and you will praise me for doing so. I hope you will. It would make me feel better about leaving my life behind, because I do miss it sometimes, the company of others around me, and the laughter they sometimes brought. It filled the void a little, the deafening silence.

I don't think I will send out this letter, but it did feel good to tell you all this, even if you weren't really listening. Somewhere I feel like you understand better now and maybe you can actually let me go. Just let me have my revenge, so my heart won't feel like this anymore. It's important to me and I think you understand now. Like your dream of becoming the Hokage.

Yours sincerely,

Sasuke


	2. Dear Sasuke 1

**AN: This is my chapter, I had a little difficulty writing this, this is actually the second version because I forgot what time frame it was supposed to be from. **

Dear Sasuke,

I'm sorry for taking so long to reply to this, Pervy Sage and I had been on a little road trip and I only just got in. We wouldn't even have gotten back as soon as we did, but Pervy Sage had decided out of the blue to get Tsunade a gift. I don't know what it is, but it looked expensive. Think it's an anniversary present?

Sakura is pretty beaten up over you leaving, but she's coping. She's been getting along a lot better with Ino now, I guess with you gone there's nothing for them to fight over anymore. They've both been training under Tsunade-baa-chan and it looks pretty tough. Ino even had a panic attack when I asked about the training, luckily Sakura was able to resu-rescici-no, uh, revive her, yeah, let's go with that, heheh.

Kakashi's getting a little lonely now that Team 7 is all broken up. He's been spending a lot of time with the other Jounin, particularly that freaky chick from the second exam. I think her name's Anko, but she has some really weird habits. I once caught her leaving Kakashi's house with no pants on, weird huh? Maybe her hot water went out and she needed to wash her clothes at his house, it happened to me before, though Kakshi was pretty upset when he learned I hadn't wasn't one of my jumpsuits in a month. He told me the stench would alert any ninja with a half-decent nose.

The bird that was waiting here for me is pretty cool. He's all black but he's got these scarlet eyes. They remind me of you when you're angry. Heheh, I'm going to call him Sasu-chan from now on. OW, ok maybe he doesn't like being called that.

Well, Pervy Sage is calling for me, so it looks like I'll have to be on the road for a little while. I'm hoping you come back soon Sasuke.

Sincerely,

Naruto Uzumaki, the NEXT HOKAGE, believe it!


	3. Dear Naruto 2

A/N, hey guys, we're sorry about the late arrival, we were hoping to post these a lot more frequently than we ended up. This is Dana-Eliza's entry, mine will be up soon to follow

Dear Naruto,

I am not sure how you even got the letter and I certainly don't own a black bird. And my red eyes have a meaning which you should know by now. My family trademark. You are still as much of as a dobe as when I left...

Me writing this letter does not mean I am coming back, so do not tell anyone I am writing you this. I mean this, Naruto. Just leave me be and don't come find me. I don't want to be found. I am getting much stronger here. It won't be long until I surpass Kakashi. I learn things here that I otherwise would never have learned. I have to admit that some of those things aren't as pleasant as others. Orochimaru and his snakes can be quite creepy sometimes...

Anyway I also see you are still as oblivious as before. Just like when you thought Haku was a girl and now you can't see why Anko is not wearing pants when she leaves Kakashi's house. I am not even going to tell you, because I know now you will go ask Kakashi and torturing him from afar actually quite amuses me. Maybe even ask Tsunade. I am positive she would know the answer. Then ask if she ever left Jiraiya's house without pants. Keep me posted on that.

You must be quite thrilled then that I am not there anymore since Sakura now can't crush on me anymore. Have you made your move already? Not like you ever had a move or was able to use it on her. You are not so smooth, Naruto. Promise you will never act like Jiraiya. You can do much better than that and you do deserve to end up with someone nice.

Don't be afraid of the snake that delivered this note and also don't murder it. The snake never harmed you. And stop screaming at it. I know you are. I know it looks slimy, but that doesn't give you the right to treat it wrongly. You sometimes look slimy and I never murdered you before. I tried to, but you deserved it. Peeing while our hands are stuck together...

Yours truly,

Sasuke Uchiha, why did you add more after this. It's not necessary. Stop it.


	4. Dear Sasuke 2

Dear Sasuke,

Sorry about the pee but I really couldn't hold any more at the time. I mean, way was I supposed to do, pee in my jumpsuit?

Sakura's been training real hard since you left also, Pervy Sage and I don't get in to Konoha as often as I'd like to anymore, and whenever we do Sakura's usually too tuckered out to hang out. I'm pretty sure she still misses you. I even asked Pervy Sage about it and he just said something really cryptic like "Absence makes the heart grow longer" or something. How can the heart get longer, does it stretch like my toad's tongues do? That'd be weird.

I wasn't able to ask Tsunade or Kakshi about Anko lately since we've been out for so long, but I sent Tsunade a letter asking about it. She said that when I get back she's going to punch me so hard me jaw bone could replace gaara's sand. Thanks a lot Sasuke, now I'm even more scared to return to Konoha.

We've been hanging out at a lot of colorful neighborhoods since we left Konoha. Pervy Sage keeps wanting to go to these areas were a lot of women walk around in bunny outfits. One time he said we were running low on funds and he needed me to use my Sexy Jutsu to pretend to be one of the ladies there to make some money, but I knew he had a lot more money. I saw his check book. I don't know why he thought I'd make some money doing that though. Would you pay to see me in a Bunny outfit?

Well, this snake is pretty cool, but I'm kind of grossed out by how he keeps slithering around my legs.

Anyway, Pervy Sage wants to teach me a new jutsu so I'm going to have to go, cya.

Yours Truly,

Naruto Uzumaki


	5. Dear Naruto 3

Dear Naruto,

I would've preffered you holding it up like a real gentleman and not pee while you are stuck to me. Did you see me peeing while we were stuck together? And worse was when you even decided that going number two in front of me was okay. Don't ever do this to anyone again. Seriously.

Oh, what is Sakura doing then? I always thought she had more potential than you to become stronger. Maybe you should keep an eye out for her. You don't want her to surpass you as well, right? And remind me to get you a dictionary for your birthday. Maybe you will then understand more of our language and you won't say foolish things like that again. By the way, when is your birthday. I always forget, because I never actually get you anything. And it's not like you ever remembered mine.

Aah, it pleases me to hear this, Naruto. I'm glad you took my advice and wrote Tsunade a letter. It was not very smart of you, because you should've known something like this might happen. It is still me, dobe. But aren't you sad you still don't know why Anko leaves Kakashi's house without pants? Maybe you should ask someone else. Funny how you haven't asked Jiraiya yet. He would be the person to give you the right answer. Surely he will know.

I'm going to give you some advice. Don't ever use your sexy jutsu for Jiraiya again. Don't do it. I fear for your health and for other things, but I won't mention them. And what kind of bunny outfit are we talking about here? I am imagining you in this furry costume with a bunny nose on your face. Although knowing your sensei... Oh, oh I get what kind of outfit you mean. I'm not sure I feel comfortable thinking about you in that outfit, Naruto. What would you say if I tell you to imagine me in an outfit like that? Let's just forget about the bunny costumes.

That means the snake likes you or perhaps sees you as his next meal. Could go either way really. Take good care of him. And what do frogs eat? This one keeps jumping away and sneaking into Orochimaru's bedroom. I'm not sure what's happening there, but I am afraid to get the frog out of there.

Hn, it will never beat my new jutsu, dobe. Just give up already.

Yours sincerely,

Sasuke Uchiha, and I am glad you listened to me. You're a good dobe.


	6. Dear Sasuke 3

Dear Sasuke,

I know better than to talk about girls with Pervy Sage, every time I do he turns it around to try and talk about stuff for his stupid book.

We eventually got back to Konoha last week and I met up with Sakura and Tsunade. But before I could say hi Sakura punched me so hard Tsunade had to repair my fractured jaw. So it looks like Sakura's doing really well with her training. Sakura came over to apologize the next day and we hung out for a little while before she was asked to return to her training with Tsunade. Sakura asked when my birthday was too for some reason, it seems now that I'm gone so often people are thinking more about me, which is weird byway. My birthday never gets celebrated anyway, it's always on the day of the Nine-Tails festival so I never have to celebrate it anyway.

I met up with Kakashi the other day and asked him about Anko. His nose started to bleed through his mask like Pervy Sage does whenever I do my Sexy Jutsu. Then Anko and Kurenai-san showed up and Kakashi got really quiet for a second. Then he asked Kurenai-san about why she sometimes leave Asuma-sensei's house without pants and it's just getting to be some huge conspiracy. Why are so many adults not wearing pants? This is so confusing.

It's nice that you are thinking about someone other than yourself for once Sasuke, even if it's just a frog. Gamabunta says that Frogs eat nothing but Sake, but I think that's just him since that sounds very unhealthy. I'd say just give the Frog some flies since they like to eat those, though if their big enough a small bird will do as well. I saw Gamabunte eat a giant Eagle once for dinner.

I won't loose to you yet Sasuke, Believe it!

Missing you,

Naruto Uzumaki,

P.S. I'd actually really like to see you in a Bunny outfit, it would be pretty funny to see you wipe that smug grin off your face.


	7. Dear Naruto 4

Dear Naruto,

Why is he your sensei again? I forgot. Better not become material for his new book. You have no idea what he will write about then.

Now I do have to ask. Why did Sakura feel the need to punch you? I thought it would be Tsunade herself who would punch you, but instead it's Sakura. What kind of letter did you send her before you went home? Did you ask her as well and then ask her if she would leave your place pantsless as well? It's not a good pick-up line, Naruto. Trust me.

Oh, now I understand why I always forgot your birthday. I didn't like the festival, too many people, so I always avoided it and therefore your birthday. Mhmm, I'll send you something this year, but I might change what I wanted you to get. It seems you need a book on tact more than you need a book on our language.

Maybe you should surprise them all and wander out of random places pantsless. I am sure it will creep them out and then you can have a laugh about it. Preferably very public places. You will get some questions, but just answer with that you felt like it. Also make sure that someone else always follows you out afterwards. And of course don't forget to tell me about it afterwards. I want to know what happens.

I set the frog loose in our pond and it seems to be having fun. It's still alive, so I assume it eats enough. No idea what, but it's growing big. How big do these things get again? The pond isn't that big, so it might be a problem.

... Hn, you miss me, huh?

Sasuke Uchiha

P.S. I would rock that bunny outfit, but you're not good enough to see me in that. Work hard and you might get a glimpse, but make sure you don't get jealous...


	8. Dear Sasuke 4

Dear Sasuke,

Pervy-Sage is alright, when he's not being a huge pervert. Kakashi tells me he's just a strong as Orochimaru so there's that, I wonder who would win though if the two did end up fighting, Orochimaru is pretty freaky himself. How can you stand being around that huge tongue of his? I bet Kabuto just won't leave his side, kami, he was so cool back in the chounin exam and now he's such a jerk.

I asked Sakura why she had hit me after I let her cool off, she told me Tsunade showed her the letter and she felt responsible for punishing my idiocy since we were teammates. I asked her why she thought Anko and Kurenai were leaving houses in their underwear but she just got really red and punched me again. At least her training with Tsunade has been going well, she's gotten really strong lately.

Lately Pervy Sage and I have been doing a lot of actual field work which is fun, though I wish it was just the two of us. Ever since we left the village this weird chick has been hanging out with us. She's apparently this bounty hunter and Pervy Sage gets a lot of good deals on bounties and missions from her. I don't know why he's getting all these bounty hunting jobs but I'm not complaining. I'm getting to fight a lot of really strong opponents these days.

The woman keeps giggling around Pervy Sage though which gets really annoying when I try to practice my alphabet. Why does our writing system have so many? I mean, three separate alphabets? Pervy Sage says I might have this weird disease called dis- er, dys, er something. I don't know. He's offered to get me some special seals that convert words to sound, that's nice of him.

I don't really know how big frogs get. Some get as big as small villages others as big as flies, I guess it depends on the species.

Naruto Uzumaki


	9. Dear Naruto 5

Dear Naruto,

Well, they are both sannin, so it's not strange that they are both considered equally strong. They apparently even know each other, but Orochimaru does not really say anything about it. And do not even start on that tongue or Kabuto liking it. You have no idea what it's like here. I flee once they disappear into a room together and don't even dare to ask me why. Thinking about it is bad enough.

So you are still her punching bag, huh? I find it funny that Sakura does realise why they leave without pants, but you still are too dense to know. But who can really blame you, right? You are still a knucklehead. But I would do some more research if I were you. Don't you have other friends who might know why? What about Hinata. She was quite nice to you, so I am positive she will answer you. And of course try thinking about what would happen when girls don't wear pants. Hanging out with someone you call Pervy Sage should give you enough information.

Strong opponents are always good. Orochimaru just has a lot of people working for him that lets me fight them. And otherwise he also has enough enemies. It is quite the hassle to do jobs for him, but at least he stays close. We travel a lot as well, moving from hideout to hideout. He takes care of business and I just challenge several people and get stronger every day. Of course I also ask around about Itachi. I want to know where he is, but I never seem to get any information on him. They do know the cloaks though, but they fear it a lot, so they rather not talk about it. Did you hear anything on him?

Mhmm, maybe you should flee just like I do when that woman starts giggling. Might be better. And practising the alphabet? Okay, I knew you weren't very smart, but this actually surprises me. I hope you'll know it very soon, because I do not wish on anyone to be illiterate. And I believe it's called dyslexia. You'll do fine as long as you work hard.

I found out the frog actually left. It didn't like the pond and probably went back home. So I don't know how big it will get now. I thought I took care of it quite well, but I never owned a frog before...

My best regards,

Sasuke Uchiha


	10. Dear Sasuke 5

Dear sasuke,

Sorry for taking forever, Pervy Sage and I ended up having to go into hiding for a while. It turns out that Jiraiya has a few unhappy customers who got cheated out of something. He won't tell me what, but he says we need to lay low and keep a good disguise on for now. We've been in-, in cog, in disguise for the past month and I haven't been able to find a pen and paper for a while. We set up shop in a small town. It's actually not that far from the Valley of the End where we last fought.

I'm beginning to miss Sakura and you a lot more lately. With just Pervy Sage around now it's been kind of quite, especially since I have to keep a low-profile. A lot of punks around here keep bothering me and I've been holding it in trying not to beat them up.

A lot of the girls around here are nicer to me though, they invited me out for shopping once and even braided my hair. I've had to keep it long to hide my appearance and its been really hard trying to manage it. And I think I'm learning a bit too much about women's bodies than I'd like. Did you know that they bleed without getting cut once a month? Pervy Sage says that when a guy starts peeing blood its a sign of death. Girl's must be really scary if they keep facing death once a month.

Sometimes when I dream I see Death also. He's got this long kimono and a knife in his mouth. The Kyuubi is there too, so is Gamabunta and the 4th Hokage. I don't know why I dream about him. I told Jiraiya about my dream and he's said that he'll tell me what it means when we return to Konoha. But it won't be for another two months. It's kind of sad. I'm missing my usual Ramen run.

Sincerely,

Naruto Uzumaki


End file.
